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雅思前辈

Topic: Even though globalization affects the world’s economies in a positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss



With the development of economy and technology, it is not uncommon these days that people can travel easily from one side of a country to another side of the world, which make the world even smaller than ever before. While some people asserting that this bring lots of financial pleasure to the world others show anxiety saying that many pressure be brought by such example.      （while some people asserting that this bring many pleasure in terms of finance, cultural exchange, to name but two, others show anxiety saying that it also comes with pressure in somde ways.） 为什么要这么写呢，因为这个是全球化，更倾向于写文化和经济的。 而你在这里就只说了经济，那就已经把你的写作范围缩小了。而且容易造成考官认为你审题不完整。



This essay is going to discuss such controversial topic and furthermore give my personal opinion.



It is manifest that the benefits of globalization are various. On the top of bolus list is that it bring more opportunities for a company. Since travelling to other countries getting more easily, lots of international company tends to expand their business in overseas. Therefore, it highly broadens their market and enhances their profit; as a result (As a result, 或者consequently) , government revenue will be increased in this way. Local people’s living standard being improved is another benefit from globalization. (the improvement of people’s living standard…..) Since people can easily visit overseas, the increasing numbers of tourists tend to travel overseas rather than domestic attractive views, which better improve the rate of local employment. (since globalization means more overseas travel, such trend can stimulate more job opportunities and boost local economy) As a result, the local economy will enhance significantly, which can be a main source of local government revenue. There are more examples but to name two.

(上一段写的太重复，最终落脚点都是促进当地经济发展。其实一句话就可以了。

Business expansion bring more investment and generate local revenue.

More overseas travel create job opportunities and contribute to GDP/// boost local economy/// generate tax revenue.

其实还有很多好处。比如文化交流， 文化可以更好的被传播。 Cultural exchange, make national cultural better spread and well known by people from overseas country.

In spite of the fact that, globalization, indeed, as mentioned above, bring pleasure, its pressure shall not be ignored either. As an example above, lots of big companies tend to run their business in another country. So 前面只写了半句，所以这句的so应该是小写，接另外半句 they have to share local market, as a results, the local small company might have to shut down if they can not competitive with the big one, which might decrease the rate of local employment and local government revenue.  （这个观点有点跑题。更像是大超市取代小超市） It reported that there are 50 private companies have to close because they can not survive in the fierce competition in China in 2009.

其实全球化的观点有很多， 这里的负面影响就是文化统一性 cultural assimilation(同化)或者 cultural sameness    some native cultural will be on the edge of extinction during the spread of cultural exchange brought by globlisation. Also, as people speak same language and enjoy same entertainment, their national identity will be bleached.

In conclusion, no sensible people will denial the fact that globalization boost the world economy, however, the side effects can not be ignored. Only through better adopting and adapting globalization can it bring world economy more pleasure than pressure.