学生作文批改笔记之 （６）分档

雅思前辈

Q : Some people say the government should pay for the health care and education ,but other say that it is not government ‘s responsibility .Discuss and give your opinion.



A : The  fees of health care and education have been increased increasing form the last decade. It has been drawing nationwide attention among people .Some say sing its praise argue that government should bear the fee of both ,others on the other hand ,regards regard public  as a more appropriate  alternative . This essay attempts to compare the two viewpoints as mentioned above and furthermore shed some personal light on this issue.



Indeed, standardization of the fees have certain bonus. One good example is that in some countries, （注意连词的使用）, There are many different fees at different hospitals and the fees are different  as well. However, if government subsidize  the fees of consultant and medicine ,the patient will only pay the flat rate to the hospital .There is a good example in Malaysia where  patient only pay RM 1 flat rate as consultation fee and RM 5 for the medicine   .It helps a lot of financial disadvantaged people .In addition ,there is free education provided to Malaysian from primary school until secondary school. (关于资助学校的观点展开部充分。其实可以说义务教育compulsory education as the basic education should be made accessible at the largest extent, so that the quality of the whole nation can be higher)



Furthermore ,   the standard of services will be guaranteed .Instead of having  high and low standard of services ,government  provides  colleges to train these related professionals . Many these field professionals are trained by Malaysia Government Institutes and this can be a good example as well.



Although government pays for both sectors ,public could also be an alternative as well .As human being, we will fully make use of if we pay for these expenses and we will more appreciate it .For instance , a patient will take good care of his or her health so that they will avoid getting  sick .In the meantime, This will save their money and time on this problem.   In addition , the parents will be more cautious about their children education and will always keep an eye for their children education.

( 本段都是在写个人和家庭，自己负医药费和学费，论证不是很充分，其实还可以写到学校，比如提供奖学金和loan, 公司可以定期举行体检)

此外这段可以写到政府压力大，government will bear financial burden.    The educational and medical subsidy takes goverenment’s much budget that could be spent in other sectors, such as….)



In conclusion ,both the two opinion seen to have solid background .Personally ,I cannot see these as the simple one-or-the-other question .Only through integrating these two